Karaoke Fun

Top Reasons Karaoke Is Better Than Sex

1. You can be a poor performer and not feel guilt or shame.

2. You can usually find someone to do it with.

3. You can do it all night (at least until the bar closes).

4. You can do it with a room full of people watching.

5. You don't have to put your drink down to do it.

6. With karaoke there's no "faking it." Either you're good or you're not.

7. Singing won't make you pregnant.

8. You can do it any night of the month.

9. You don't need anyone to do it with.

10. It's no big deal to do it with someone you just met.

11. You're not a weirdo when you do it with a family member.

12. You don't have to "practice," it's always safe.

Lines To Move Up In Rotation

Karaoke singers, many of you have used one or more of the following lines in order to "move up in rotation." Well, we're on to you!  You can't fool us. Listed are the top reasons why "I Have To Sing Next!"

1. I have to go home.

2. I can sing that song so much better.

3. I'm a friend of _________and he/she said I can sing next anytime I want.

4. My girlfriend/boyfriend is awesome. Let her/him sing next.

5. I'm leaving in 10 minutes.

6. I have to go to work in the morning (so who doesn't?)

7. It's _______'s birthday, please let them sing.

8. I have to leave for another karaoke show.

9. I own this place.

10. The owner said I could.

11. I need to sing now so I can start drinking.

12. I have finally had enough to drink and I have to sing before I get too drunk.

13. My friends dared me and if I don't sing now I never will.

14. I have to catch a plane.

15. My boss (or a talent agent) is in the audience and wants to hear me sing!

16. I'm drunk and don't know what I'm doing.

17. I spend a lot of money in this club.

18. If I don't sing next I'm going to the club down the street and taking all of my friends with me.

19. My relatives are in town visiting and they're leaving to go back home tomorrow.

20. I'll give you a tip!

21. I signed up hours ago and you haven't called me up yet.

22. I signed up last night and you never called me up to sing.

23. We're all here together and we want to sing "Love Shack."

24. I have to go to church in the morning (especially popular in the Bible Belt).

25. I'm trying to get this girl's/guy's attention and want to impress them with my singing.

26. I'm old and can't stay up any later.

So, singers, be more creative and come up with some different excuses (not that they'll work either) for we've heard all of them way too many times!

The Ten Commandments Of Karaoke

Commandment #1: THOU SHALL not jeer, heckle, boo, harass or otherwise interrupt a singer. Be supportive.

Commandment #2: THOU SHALL not drink to the point of intoxication if you are planning to perform.

Commandment #3: THOU SHALL not whine about when your next turn is.

Commandment #4: THOU SHALL not be upset if another performer sings a song you were planning to sing.

Commandment #5: THOU SHALL not use foul language when at the microphone.

Commandment #6: THOU SHALL not juggle, toss or flip the microphones. Respect the equipment.

Commandment #7: THOU SHALL not sing along louder than the performer. Respect the singer.

Commandment #8: THOU SHALL not join in with a singer unless you are invited.

Commandment #9: THOU SHALL not carry on loud conversations next to the stage.

Commandment #10: THOU SHALL APPLAUD! Everyone who performs deserves some attention.

You May Be A Karaoke Junkie If…

1. If you've had Karaoke KJ's call you at home to come help start a new show. And call back because you aren't there yet.

2. If the Karaoke host has called your name accidentally because YOU always sing the song they just loaded.

3. If you get upset because some newcomer has picked the song YOU always sing.

4. You clap when a song finishes on the radio.

5. Strangers walk up to you in Wal-Mart and compliment you on your singing.

6. People you don't know ask, "Aren't you a karaoke singer?"

7. You get ticked when you are skipped in the rotation.

8. Songs on the radio don't sound right because _____or _____aren't singing them.

9. You hear a song on the radio and think, that's number 7506-12.

10. You don't wear "the hat" and nobody knows you.

11. You find yourself engrossed in the philosophical ramifications of "American Pie."

12. You go to a concert and wonder when they're gonna call you up to sing.

13. You go to a concert and all the time you're thinking "I could do that."

14. You write lists like this on the back of karaoke slips.

15. Last call comes and you say, "But I've got another song yet to sing!"

16. You have laryngitis and you still try to sing.

17. You know you've got to get up at 6:30 am and you still close the bar down.

18. There's 12 inches of snow on the ground and ice on the roads and where are you? THE KARAOKE BAR!

19. Someone asks you if you have a slip, and they're not talking about underwear!

20. You remember the number of over two songs by memory.

21. You know everybody's first name but not their last name.

22. You know the location of every late night restaurant within five miles of the bar.

23. You know the location of every karaoke bar within 50 miles of your house.

24. When you're not at the karaoke bar by 10:30 people call your house to find out what's wrong.

25. You would never consider dating someone with a bad voice.

26. Anything brighter than neon lights hurts your eyes.

27. Someone suggests going dancing instead and you're appalled.

28. Your stock reply is, "You mean there's a bowling alley here?"

29. That comedian on TV that makes fun of karaoke really makes you mad.

30. You see karaoke on TV and you think, "That's not the way it's done!"

31. You actually know that karaoke means "empty orchestra."

32. It feels weird to go to a new karaoke bar and not sit at the "regulars" table.

33. You get upset when someone else is sitting in your place.

34. You hate it when someone sings your song.

35. The songs, "Love Shack", "Friends In Low Places" and "American Pie" really annoy you (unless of course YOU want to sing them).

36. Someone refers to "the longest song in the book" and you know what they're talking about.

37. The word "rotation" no longer conjures up thoughts of tires or sex.

38. You've ever browsed the net under the heading "Karaoke."

39. You've ever called a wrecker to take you and your car to Karaoke.

40. A new person who sings well is automatically your friend.

41. Your new best friend is somebody who does the same type songs as you.

42. You can't name five presidents, BUT you know all the members of Kiss and the Eagles.

43. You know the entire intro to "Baby's Got Back."

44. You think, "What's this creep going to sing?" And you're determined to sing them under the table.

45. You've picked karaoke songs to be sung at your funeral. (Your spouse says this ain't happening!)

46. You wonder what ever happened to what's his name, you know he sang _____.

47. You've ever received an emergency call at the bar.

48. You think you sound better than the original.

49. You can still sit still after listening to "Love Shack" 5,000 times.

50. Someone suggests an after party and you ask, "Do you have a karaoke machine?"

51. You can't remember the words to a song you've heard all your life without "the screen."

52. You and three other people have sung "Friends In Low Places" after the karaoke has closed down.

53. The first thing you think when you hear a new song on the radio is, "When is this coming out on karaoke?"

54. You call the karaoke store and hound them about a disk.

55. You try to learn 14 songs you don't really like.

56. You consider beer a lubricant for your vocal chords.

57. It takes you 15 minutes to hug everybody goodbye.

58. You feel cheated if they don't get karaoke started right on time.

59. The term kamikaze has nothing to do with Japan or planes.

60. Your house guests get to your house one-and-a-half hours before you do.

61. You're a woman but you're still willing to sing the guys part.

Steve Russell's MusicAndKaraoke.com
Serving Charleston and the Lowcountry of South Carolina
steve@musicandkaraoke.com
843.696.1058